Deep in thought

My mom is seriously sick.

I was so depressed that she has to suffer from this.

She has been in hospital for several days with my company.

At first, I complained about this unfortunateness  which never occured to me.

What's going on with my life and my Mon?

Everything has gone wrong since her illness.

Life has been full of choas being dealt with and waiting to be dealt with.

I hate fate

She hates fate

We had a small conflict.

We sometimes didn't talk to each other.

I thought I was doing everything to take good care of her, which she regarded as not enough as a daughter.

Actually, we don't hate each other. We hate the feeliing of being chosen by God to be the most unfortunate persons.

最近， 

我們之間的怨氣突然間被真正的親情取代

或許是逐漸接受老天爺的安排

或許是在照顧媽媽這段期間

我們更體認到我是她女兒

她是我媽媽的這一層關係

媽媽會坐在椅子上幫我按摩

我會在陪她到廁所時蹲在馬桶旁幫媽按摩

我感覺得到她的生命力越來越差

她說當她知道她的病情後很久沒有笑過了

我聽了相當辛酸和自責

我告訴媽媽：

如果時間提早到了，老天爺是要帶你去享福

帶你投胎到好人家，不要像這一世遇人不淑，辛苦大半輩子

如果時間提早到了，也可能是下輩子你要來當我的女兒

到時候就換我幫你把屎把尿

媽媽笑了...........